SPORTS NUT IN DALLAS

Geez Louise

2010-01-31T08:48:00.001-06:00

It doesn't feel like 4 and a half months since my last post. The holidays came and went. Good family, friends and food so that was nice. Tax season is in full swing. No personal life to speak of but it all evens out when I get to "work from home" during the Summer. Hope everyone is well.

Autumn

2009-09-24T07:59:00.004-05:00

This is my favorite time of year. The summer heat begins to leave us (although not for another month here in Dallas). College football is in full swing. Sports Bars show college football games, and you go to your friends house for BBQ, beer, and college football. On to another topic... Auburn is 3-0(yeah, I know their schedule was weak, but WV is always dangerous so that's a quality win). USC and Ohio St., and Notre Dame have all lost already(hehehehehe), and every week has some great games. I love this time of year.

Dirty little secret

2009-08-07T06:55:00.002-05:00

I have never been a fan of reality TV. I never caught on to the "survivorbigbrotherfindanewwife/husbandbuildahouseforthoselessfortunateyouhavebadkidshireanannyandswapspouses" craze. My friends would be all "dude, the Amazing race 13 is on" and would be all "whatevs". I did "find" American Idol during its 4th season and have seen it sporadically since but I generally turn my nose up at "those people" that enjoy the reality shows. Cut to last year (I love saying"cut to") and I am changing channels on a boring weeknight and there are two women just acting all kinds of ignorant at some party. I was slightly intrigued so I watched some more. What is this dramatic goodness I said to myself. And that is how I started watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I have never seen an episode of any other Real Housewives but something about this group just has me hooked. I saw the first 2 episodes of the new season last night and the juicy gossip and drama picked up right where it left off last year.

Staycation Over

2009-07-14T17:00:00.002-05:00

Well, all good things must come to an end. I did cross off quite a few items from the to do list:

1. sit on couch often- check
2. Have a cocktail by 3pm - check
3. Go to casino during Senior day and ask for free breakfast- check
4. Throw my panties onstage at Brian Mcknight concert- check
5.Organize my bathroom cabinet and group things by category, size and frequency of use (due to OCD)- check

Back at work in the glorious 105 degree heat. It is serious swamp ass weather!!

Day 1 of my Staycation

2009-07-06T19:31:00.003-05:00

I enjoyed Day 1 of my staycation. I decided to take a week off from work. Blackberry- Turned off. Out of office message- turned on. Extended vacation greeting on cellphone- activated.
It feels nice to just hang out and do NOTHING. I walked the beast, took a nap (the beast took a nap with me, and had a nice dinner at home with the Hubs(who is Sooo jealous that he isnt on staycation with me).

Happy 4th Y'all

2009-07-04T21:33:00.001-05:00

2009-06-29T08:51:00.002-05:00

Did you catch the Premiere of Hung on HBO last night? I was mildly impressed and will watch it again next week. It doesn't hurt that the lead role is played by this piece of meat

The on again -off again-on again(How Trent Willmon of me) lesbitarian Anne Heche is on this show as well.

6 ????

2009-06-22T09:22:00.003-05:00

Guess what today is??
The first day of Wimbledon thats what. Roger goes for #6. Rafa is OUT (no...not out of the closet.) I love this picture of Fed and Andy Roddick.

Roger: Sorry about the ass beating I gave you. Better luck next time.

Andy: Next time will be the same thing. I suck.

Roger: Thats true. At least you look hot with your shirt off.

Has it been a month already??

2009-06-16T08:45:00.002-05:00

Time flies when you are having fun...

My employment was in question as my company decided what to do with the Tax division. Close it and leave poor Joey homeless and destitute?? I wish. I could have used the vacation. Instead we have merged with another division to create a Mega-giganto- Super division. I am still the DM for North Texas, should be receiving a raise in July, and actually have less work to do than before. Woo-Hoo!

I Finally joined Facebook. I know, I know- It's already outdated. I am just not really into staying connected with EVERYONE on the planet. My real friends have my telephone number and we call/text/blackberry message when things happen. I am "Joseph Maldonado" on Facebook if you want to be my friend or whatever.

The hubby had a B-day yesterday. This year was low key. Next year is the one that I better start planning for right now. He turns the big 5-0.

College football will be here in 80 days. I will finally be at peace with the world(at least for 4 months).

Funny stuff heard at Target

2009-05-14T17:15:00.002-05:00

I stopped by Target at lunch today and in the next aisle over this is what I heard:

Lady1: (in her best twang) Sara, look at these gorgeous balls!
Lady2: Oh Kathy, those are too cute.
Lady 1: I wasn't really into using balls for a while but these are so nice. Just the right size too.
Lady2: I have always had some around my house. They look nice on the mantle. How much are they?
Lady 1: I don't care. I want them!

Betty...Can you hear me?

2009-05-10T18:43:00.002-05:00

I am checking into Betty Ford Clinic!

I realized yesterday that most days I am either having a glass of wine or a cocktail with dinner, or in the back yard with neighbors and the dogs, or I am recovering from a day of dining, drinking, and socializing. Sad really. I rarely get smashed drunk and cause a scene. I have never been taken to jail for Public Intoxication. I just enjoy a libation with friends...EVERY DAY. I am going to jump on the wagon this week and see what changes will happen. Sleep better?? Work our harder?? Become a better person??? OK, OK...One step at a time.

I know that I like older guys...But

2009-05-03T20:37:00.002-05:00

He can sing my panties off any day.

I am going to wear my Stevie Nicks Shawl

2009-04-30T16:27:00.002-05:00

The hubby received some Fleetwood Mac tickets from one of his vendors today. Woo Hoo. They are in a Suite with free booze. My karaoke version of The Chain will be heard LOUD and clear by our Suite-mates. I am gonna sneak backstage and tell Lindsey Buckingham that I have always had a man crush on him. (Even during his white man afro days... I was only 2 when Rumours came out but I knew what I liked even back then).

sniffles

2009-04-27T22:38:00.002-05:00

I feel icky. Sore throat... Sinus pressure. I think I have swine flu. I had bacon on my hamburger while in Chi town. That must be it. I am going to take some Advil and hope this swine flu goes away. I hope I dont pass it to my hubby or my Buddy. I do refer to him as Pig Dog(half pig/half dog). Maybe thats where I got it.

Curse you Pig Dog!!!
Get out of our bed and sleep in your own Orthapedic, 7 in. thick, memory foam, large breed, cost half a weeks wages, dog bed.

2009-04-26T22:33:00.002-05:00

Tax Season- 120 Days
Sleepless Nights- 120 Nights
Feeling that I can finally take a breath and relax- Priceless

I just returned from Chicago where I attended a business conference. Tragic 1980's inspired ballrooms. Poor A/V equipment. Presenters that fear public speaking. Yeah, I had a blast. I did follow that up with 3 days of hanging out in Boys Town and sleeping until Noon everyday.

In my first moment of clarity after Tax Season I have decided that I need to further my education. I am 36 Hours away from a B.S. Electrical Engineering degree but have decided to pursue other interests. Executive V.P of Floral Arrangements for Elton John Inc. is my desired position so I better get to work quickly.

April 15th

2009-04-15T08:40:00.003-05:00

It is here. I didn't think I was going to make it but I am still alive. After today I will be able to get back to working from home a couple days a week. I will be able to take a few days off when I want. I will be able eat sleep and be merry (or is it Mary)...either way I will be a different person after today. I can't wait!

Conversation

2009-03-17T08:47:00.002-05:00

I had quite an interesting conversation with my computer this morning. As I logged on he told me that I was "now connected". I told him that I didn't really feel connected. He didn't respond. He then told me that I am "ready for updates" to which I smiled and said "no kidding". "Aren't we all". Once again he went silent. I then tried opened up my Daily Production spreadsheet and he told me that he is "not responding" and then poof...All of my windows were closed. I have decided that I am "not responding" today either and I am going to celebrate St. Patricks day in the manner that it was truly intended to be celebrated. Drunk and puking on a sidewalk by 2pm.

Oh My

2009-03-03T23:01:00.003-06:00

Duncan Hines

2009-02-23T23:21:00.004-06:00

Please Beware. This man will make you very "Duncan Hines" (Soft and Moist). If not his painfully sexy face then his deep sexy voice. You have been warned.

2009-02-23T17:23:00.000-06:00

It's On Like Donkey Kong...Bitches

2009-02-19T21:41:00.004-06:00

Oh sweet Mary. I have been hella busy. Yeah, I went all 1998 on your ASS and said "hella". It's true though. Tax Season is Hell for this Homo. I feel like I took a brief vacation from sanity, reality, and most household chores. I am glad to be back though. On another note...
I am not really a TV watcher. I watch anything Sports related and I will also watch if a Countdown is involved. Top 10 Celebrity Murders. Top 50 One Hit Wonders. You name it I will watch it. While hanging out with the hubster this evening I peeled my eyes away from ESPN.COM long enough to see this hot piece of man meat. I instantly closed my laptop and started to pay attention to the show that was on. It's called Private Practice and apparently it's a spin off from Greys Anatomy...blah blah blah. Boring Mc Yawn. Anyway, I just had to Google this furry piece of man pie. His name is Paul Adelstein. He makes me want to quote the famous Salt N Pepa song SHOOP.
"Paul, You so crazy...I think I wanna have yo Baby".

Ft. Worth Stock Show and Rodeo

2009-01-31T08:23:00.003-06:00

While it isn't as grand as the one down in Houston I do love me some Ft. Worth Stock Show. Who wouldn't?? Hot cowboys everywhere. Manly men buying John Deere equipment. Mmmm. I may have to miss the show this year which would not be good. Maybe I can sneak away from work tomorrow and go on the last day. I do hope to see some of this...

And a whole lot of this...

The rumours of my demise...

2009-01-28T21:54:00.002-06:00

They are untrue. Tax Season is in full swing. Seniorita Boozehound is my witness that these are crazy days in our business. How many more 14 hour days can I work? How many more Taxtastrophies will I endure?? To be continued.

2 weeks

2009-01-18T07:53:00.003-06:00

It's been a crazy two weeks.
Worked (11) Fourteen hour days in a row.

Found out the dog has allergies.. To go with his sensitive stomach and fear of boxes.

Had a visit from the Boss. It went well.

Hung out with Senorita Boozehound on many occassions for frosty adult beverages.

While hanging out with MS Boozehound we met a stripper who told us that he had a very small penis but he is cool with it since he is a bottom.

Went to a Dallas Stars game and my friend Karen knocked over some guys beer when she stood up to cheer a goal. He offered to take his jersey off so she could sit on it and she said no. DUMB!. He was cute so I asked if I could sit on his "jersey"

I'm still alive...I think

2009-01-06T22:03:00.002-06:00

Many many many 12 hour days later I am still standing(cut to Elton John song). All the days run together. I miss my Summer/Fall schedule when I "worked" from home much more often.
For Thomas...

2008-12-28T08:13:00.002-06:00

I must have been a good boy this year because Santa brought me some very cool presents. He also brought Buddy a radio controlled car that I use to chase him around the back yard. I love this time of year. Decorating the living room, going to Christmas cocktail parties, and even the occassional trip to the mall is fun, but I must say I am glad it's all over. New Years Eve is not a big deal to me and we usually just get together with a few people and hang out at home. I am very happy about College Football Bowl Season which is underway. Next week also marks the beginning of 4 months of HELL for me as Tax season gets underway. If I don't post until April 16th I think you will know why.... Wish me luck!

Buck Rogers

2008-12-21T08:39:00.002-06:00

I don't remember him wearing this outfit on the show!!

A box of Tampons and some Marlboro Lights

2008-12-20T00:01:00.001-06:00

Merry Xmas Biatches--

Courtesy of Robert Earl Keen Jr

My Crackberry has arrived

2008-12-17T21:55:00.003-06:00

I can finally trade in my company brick phone for a new Sprint Blackberry. My new toy arrived last friday and although my IT rep wouldn't return my call to get me activated until Tuesday, and then the activation went bad due to no more corporate licenses and my text messaging wasn't active ...I am finally happy!!! In my previous line of work I always had the latest and greatest phone that was available. I would trade my phone in every 6 months or so but the last few years I had whatever my company gave me which had been junk until now. I really wont take advantage of a fraction of it's capabilities as the only things I do are talk and text. I do like to check sports scores when I am out but with my luck they deactivated that feature at corporate office.

Milk...and the rest of the weekend

2008-12-15T21:23:00.002-06:00

Went to see MILK on Saturday. Not a Sean Penn fan. FRICKEN AWESOME job. Go see it...SERIOUSLY. Before the movie we stopped at this Irish Pub for a Pint and a sandwhich and they had a Rugby match on the TV. You must watch rugby. I repeat. Watch it. Too hot not to watch.

Pacey grow'ed up real good

2008-12-10T21:37:00.002-06:00

MMmmmmmmmmmmm

Porn made me rape those people

2008-12-09T21:49:00.003-06:00

Yeah..I said it. And high gas prices made me rob those Gas Stations. My dad told me I was a loser when I was a kid so I beat up some people outside a bar once. My boss yelled at me so I shot up my office. I see violence at the movies so that is my excuse. I saw people base jumping from a high rise and I tried it which left me crippled. I am gonna sue the producers of the base jumping video. I had a flat tire and was late to work. I am gonna sue the tire company for lost wages in the amount of 7 million dollars. I make 70 grand a year but I would have had a HUGE promotion if not for my flat tire. My burger was too cold. My coffee was too hot. My porn was too extreme. My boss was too mean!!! McDonalds makes me fat. Coffee keeps me up too late.!!!

I wonder if anyone else is sick of people that blame others for their lack of COMMON SENSE. The letigious environment that we live in not only stifles creativity but angers those of us with drive and ambition to earn things the right way. I have read one too many news articles so I am a bit !@#$%^& but seriously... Get a clue!!!

What Crappy Christmas Gift are you?

2008-12-08T09:43:00.001-06:00

What Crappy Christmas Gift are you??

I stole this from "Cant never could do nothing"s blog and thought it was funny(and kinda accurate)

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise.

But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

Not exactly a tropical paradise....

2008-12-07T09:28:00.003-06:00

While I would much rather be in Maui, I am thankful for our wonderful weather here in North Texas. Today will be 68 and sunny. I will do some X-mas shopping and then find a nice gay bar with a patio to have a few cocktails at. We have some brutal summers here but there is nothing like having a beer, watching the cowboy game and checking out the hot daddies on the patio while our poor friends to the north have to spend 20 minutes de-icing the car. We do have a Red Flag Warning today which means DONT FLICK YOUR CIGARETTES OUT THE WINDOW QUEENS. We don't really have a forest here in Dallas but there is still grass and trees that will go up in smoke real quick. Just in case someone does start a fire thank goodness we always keep one of these around...

Why I don't watch TV

2008-12-02T23:28:00.002-06:00

I had a couple of beers after dinner and was feelin a little lazy so I decided to watch TV and was mortified by what was on. I must preface this story by saying that I turned on the TV without the remote and did not know where the remote was during this torture session. I sat back and was able to watch the class act known as "Entertainment Tonight". The narrator had a very serious tone while commenting on the days pressing topics. "Did Britney order a Chai Latte with Soy Milk"???? Does Angelina paint her toe nails with chocolate sauce???? Why Michael Jackson likes Orange Life Savers more than Cherry!!!!!. Are they serious??? I thought to myself for a minute and realized.. If they are reporting this stuff then there must be people out there(Yes. I pre judged those folks that must follow this show) who actually want to know this useless info. I was about to get up and either look for the remote or change channels at the cable box when I was jolted out of my seat. " BREAKING NEWS..... Just Breaking Now!!!! Miley Cyrus is going to serve snow cones at her B-Day party!!!! Oh no she di'int!!!!!

Looking good Mr Caan

2008-12-02T07:27:00.001-06:00

The BoozeHound Cometh

2008-12-02T06:59:00.003-06:00

After 3 long years living in the Land of Entrapment I am glad to welcome back Senorita Boozehound aka Macy Gray aka Witchy Woman to the MetroPlex(DFW). My dear friend has been suffocation in the oppression that is Albuquerque for the last 3 years but is returning home to her pretentious, overbearing, snobby, elitist home where she belongs. Welcome home!

Holiday Message

2008-11-26T07:17:00.001-06:00

HAPPY TURKEY DAY BIATCHES!!!!

Sticks and Stones may break my bones....

2008-11-24T23:07:00.002-06:00

Beaner, Guido, wetback, pasta jockey... You know the words. I am from Italian/Hispanic decent. My grandpa was from Italy and Grandma from Spain. Should I be offended by words that are used by others??? If I rob a gas station am I morally challenged??? If I am bald does that make me folically challenged??? If I am blind am I visually challenged or am I blind??? I am 5'7" tall so am I vertically challenged??? If I was ugly does that make me cosmetically challenged?? If I am a pregnant student with one leg and a low IQ am I a Non Traditional learner??? Should I say Happy Holidays during Christmas week?? If I have a HUGE nose does that make me nasally disadvantaged?? Poor= economically disadvantaged?? When did the PC police come to our neighborhood and arrest everyone that walks through our streets of society?? I am tired of walking on eggshells every time I open my mouth. I can't believe that an old nursery rhyme may actually save us all but who knows..

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words will Never hurt me!!!

For Thomas- I guess I am your Google Ho now...

2008-11-21T21:05:00.003-06:00

Lorne- Divine Design beefcake

2008-11-16T12:56:00.003-06:00

I could not get a hold of "Hunky" carpenter Paul from HGTVs Divine Design
to come over and help paint so the Hubby and I tackled the project ourselves. We painted the Dining Room last weekend and the Living Room this weekend. The rooms are not that big but it was kind of exhausting. I needed two glasses of wine and some good football to relax afterwards.

Dirty

2008-11-09T22:27:00.002-06:00

My thoughts are not pure when I watch Dirty Jobs... They are very DIRTY.

The 4 Horsemen

2008-11-07T18:32:00.003-06:00

I was in my early teens in the late 80's and I used to love Pro Wrestling. I guess on some level I enjoyed looking at hot sweaty men in tight shorts but at the time it was just fun and exciting. I was thinking about those evenings spent watching wrestling and remembered my favorite wrestler. The one and only Arn Anderson. There were more ripped muscled pretty boys but for some reason I always had a thing for Double A.

It's over.

2008-11-05T18:49:00.002-06:00

Election Day is over. Did you vote? Did your candidate win? Were you impressed or excited about either candidate? I went to bed by 10:30 and avoided the 8 hours of Election coverage that I have stayed up to watch in the past. It was nice to know who won prior to 2 AM like in elections past.

Modern Julian

2008-11-01T08:15:00.003-05:00

Classic Julian

2008-11-01T08:09:00.002-05:00

What happened?

2008-11-01T07:50:00.002-05:00

Whatever happened to really good TV programs? When I was younger it seemed like I had to be home at a certain time on certain days to watch my shows. Must See TV, Hospital Drama, Crime Drama, etc. etc. I realized when we switched to AT&T fiber optic cable service that other than sporting events I don't watch a damn thing. We can record 4 programs at the sime time on the DVR and yet scrolling through the guide I couldn't find 4 programs TOTAL that I wanted to record. I remember when Survivor premiered and I said"Who is going to watch that crap"? Well as it turned out EVERBODY watched that crap and now Reality TV rules. I did get to watch 1 great TV program this week when I turned on the TV after work and It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown was just starting.

!@#$%^&*() !!!!!!!

2008-10-24T21:01:00.002-05:00

Brandon Cox was gone. We had a new offensive scheme. We were pre-season top 10 and seemingly flying under the radar typically given to USC, LSU, OSU and Texas. The start of the College Football season was so promising. Fast Forward to last night and me deciding to slip my head out of the noose and step off the chair. It has been brutal and at 4-4 it may get worse. We still have Georgia and the hated Crimson Tide to come. On a lighter note I didn't actually watch the game last night. A friend from OKC came down and we all went to Tuna Does Vegas at the Bass Hall. We had dinner before the show and to our joyous surprise there were $5 Martinis. Lets just say that I should have been the Designated Driver and only had a few glasses of wine. Today was spent with a killer headache and a nauseated head spinning feeling. I had a bright idea that a quick workout would make me feel better but I quit after 15 minutes fearing that I may vomit in the little cubby hole of the treadmill.

For Thomas...

2008-10-24T20:57:00.002-05:00

When I first moved to Dallas I went to the State Fair of Texas and was initially repulsed by the thought of a Fried Oreo. After prodding by a friend I tried one bite and have been hooked ever since. They take an Oreo and dip it in some sort of batter and then deep fry it. The finished product is sprinkled with powdered sugar and served while still warm. You get 4 to an order but I have never been able to eat more than two. They are particularly tasty after a few draft beers and a long walk visiting all of the exhibits on the fairgrounds.

Update

2008-10-19T23:17:00.002-05:00

My mundane week in a nutshell:

Recruited employees for the upcoming tax season.

Had dinner and drinks with the Hubby after a bad day on Wednesday.

Went to the St. Fair of Texas on Thursday. 1 corny dog, fried Oreos, and several warm tap beers later I had to go to the gym twice on Friday.

House/Cat sat on Sat. for the neighbor lady.

Bought an HDTV and watched the Cowboys lose on Sunday.

Can you keep up with all that??? I may need to but a PDA or a calendar or something!!!

Hazard Pay

2008-10-12T19:31:00.003-05:00

Who knew that being a District Manager for a Tax company could be so dangerous. As I sat at my desk in one of my stores on Friday afternoon I was caught off guard by the sound of semi automatic gunfire. I was shocked at he noise but wasn't really convinced as it did not sound like the movies at all. I didn't fully believe what I had heard until I saw people out on the sidewalk go running for cover. Instinctively I told my employee that was working with me to hide in the bathroom but as she was heading in that direction we heard tires squeal as the robbers left the scene. Apparently an armored car guard had been robbed at gunpoint at the store right next to us. The guard offered no resistance but these filthy animals felt it necessary to shoot at him as they jumped in the getaway car. Two machine guns were fired and these losers were only able to graze the guard in the hip. The whole scene was surreal and it really didn't register in my mind what actually happened until later in the day. I had a busy weekend and was able to keep my mind off the entire ordeal but I am sure that I will be very jumpy to loud noises for a while. I want hazard pay and I think we need to add kevlar vests to our uniform ordering guide.

Magazine Rack

2008-10-08T20:31:00.002-05:00

I bought a magazine rack. I actually bought a copper basket that I could not find a use for and it became a magazine rack. I need to take my magazine rack backwards in time 5 years so that it can save countless arguments, nagging sessions, and verbal smackdowns.

My loving hubby has a tail... thats right, a rat tail. He is part packrat. One of the many things he obsessively orders, buys, collects, and then keeps waaaay too long are magazines. Foodie Magazines, Business Magazines, Fashion Magazines, and for a while a newsletter type magazine that had naughty pics of "Marines" tossing off. "I signed up free for this magazine since they offer it at work". "I had to use my expiring airline miles so I ordered these 6 magazines". "I was in this magazine in 1984 so I have to subscribe to it". These are all phrases that I have heard over the last 5 years. Last week I finally decided ENOUGH. I will not win this battle. He will not stop buying them, nor will he throw them away when he is done reading them. I can't even hope for him to stack them neatly on the coffee table. This is when I decided to buy a damn magazine rack and stop whining about it. Did it really take me 5 years to learn this?? Can I possibly be that stubborn???

We now have a shiny new accessory and I can sleep better a night knowing the coffee table is neat and organized.

Stooped!

2008-10-05T09:01:00.003-05:00

I am NOT a Sooner fan by any means however I do fancy 1 Sooner a little bit.

The sky is falling...The sky is falling

2008-10-02T21:43:00.002-05:00

It cost me 42.75 to fill my tank last year at this time and it has now increased to 52.50.

There are as many categories of food costs that have dropped since last year as there are that have increased.

It cost me 240 to fly to Chicago a week ago and it cost 256 at the same time last year.

My 401k has increased, decreased, and increased again(go figure..it is based heavily on stocks. Thats what they do).

The mortgage payment is still the same since we only bought as much house as we could afford.

My car insurance has not changed.

My electric bill is still high but is nearly identical to last year.

I still have a job..the same one I had last year.

I know that some people have been hit hard with the economy pitfalls this last year, but how much of the hardships have been caused by poor decision making individually??? It just seems to me that a majority of our great people have become very reactive and then want to blame"circumstances" for their hardships.

OK,

I know that my stance may not be the most popular amongst the masses but I just had to get that off my chest.

I need a vacation- from my vacation

2008-10-01T08:49:00.002-05:00

Thursday- Great start- No airplane cocktails. Iced Tea at dinner( i know..hard to believe). Darts...a few drinks...more darts..pool...more drinks.. home at midnight.
Friday- Feel great . Have coffee. go to lunch. Famous last words from my friends-"you have to try the Bloody Mary here"- Not sure what happened for the next 14 hours but I know we came stumbling in at 4Am.
Saturday- Not as spry as Friday morning- Solution: Drink more coffee. The official plan for the day: Stay close to home and watch College Football. Actual happenings: Bolt to the Gay Bar with the huge Plasma TVs and have them turn the game on. Rum, Vodka, and Beer oh my!
Sunday- Serious hangover. No more cocktails! Hang outside on our friends patio. Enjoy the nice weather. It's 12 Noon. The NFL games are starting. Just one Rum and OJ to take the edge off. 12 hours later...crawl to bedroom and pray the bedspins would go away soon.
Monday- pack and get ready to head to Ohare on a rainy afternoon. This will be great. The flight was only had 1 thirty minute delay. Tom only spilled 1 drink on himself during the flight back. I only had 1 "Mile High" experience during the flight back.

Weekend salvaged??

2008-09-21T22:43:00.002-05:00

Maybe a little- but the pain is still there on some level. I have to say hats off to LSU for playing a hell of a game. It was close throughout but Les Miles isn't afraid to call some aggressive plays and that was the difference. At least we were treated to yet another great Auburn-LSU game. The Cowboys played inconsistent but were too much for the Packers and are now 3-0. I have to tie up some loose ends tomorrow and then I am on vacation for a week. I hope our gracious hosts have the liquor cabinet fully stocked!!!

Breaking News.......

2008-09-19T17:41:00.003-05:00

WE KNOW!!!

It's Friday -- YIPPPEEE

2008-09-19T08:12:00.002-05:00

I am so happy the weekend is here. This week has been busy, hectic, and tiresome. I now have the weekend to look forward to and OH what a weekend. Auburn vs LSU on Saturday and Dallas vs Green Bay on Sunday. The REAL Tigers are gonna put a whuppin to those Baton Rouge kitties. I may enjoy a frosty beverage or 6 this weekend!

Monday Night

2008-09-16T17:16:00.006-05:00

That Monday Night Football game had to be one of the best I have ever seen. For those of you that are interested the final score was Dallas 41-Philly 37. For the rest of you here is some eye candy compliments of leebryan.com

Sports Heaven

2008-09-14T20:23:00.003-05:00

Auburn beats Miss ST. in a 3-2 THRILLER. While the final score did look pretty bad it was the best 3-2 football game I have seen.

The Broncos dominate all game only to lose the lead in the 4th to the hated Chargers. We then pull off a last second comeback after converting on a 2 point play after the touchdown. WOW.

The Colts look terrible all game long but Peyton just keeps pushing(Mmmmm. Peyton Pushing) and we finally win 18-15.

USC destroyed Ohio State. The Buckeyes are clearly overrated and have been for a while. The only thing good to come out of OSU is Kirk Herbstreit.

Mama Mia- and Me

2008-09-11T23:49:00.002-05:00

I like football. I also like basketball, baseball, hockey, tennis, Nascar, Funny Car, Poker, Golf, and then more football. I would rather watch Barry Sanders slice through a secondary than Patti Lupone slice through Evita. I drink beer, scratch my balls, and sometimes I skip a shower on the weekends if I don't plan on leaving the house. So I have to ask WHY I enjoy Mama Mia so DAMN much. I can probably name 2 ABBA songs if that. I am NOT the Dancing Queen. I love music but I wouldn't claim ABBA in any of my top 10 lists. I will say that Mama Mia is the best live show I have ever seen. I just got home from seeing it for a second time and there was absolutely ZERO dissapointment. I traded in my Bud Light or Rum and Diet for a glass of Champagne and stuck my nose up at everyone that wasn't in my immediate presence. If you have not been to this show you are now dead to me. Ok, I still love you but I question your good taste.

It is time

2008-09-10T21:06:00.002-05:00

After two years of great food and fine wine I must get back to reality. I used to be a healthy eater and enjoyed going to the gym immensly. I was like Forrest Gump. Run Joey Run. I began eating 6 small meals a day last week(Bill Phillips style) which I had done for years prior to my 2 year audition for the next Foodnetwork Food critic. Today was my first workout. Well you can hardly call it a workout compared to the past but it was a start. 20 minutes on the treadmill doing intervals. I went from 2.5 to 3.5 to 5.5 and then back. My legs feel GREAT (yeah right). It actually was refreshing to work up a good sweat and check out the gym hotties. I start weights tomorrow. I asked the hubby if he wanted to be my workout buddy but he slapped me with a Porterhouse and poured a bottle of Silver Oak Cab on me and said "Hell TO the No". Maybe I can find a gym daddy to spot me during my bench press. In 3 months I am going to wear this bikini to the company Christmas party.

Couch Hog

2008-09-07T22:36:00.002-05:00

Buddy shows Tom who the REAL Daddy is.

We are #1

2008-09-07T20:41:00.002-05:00

Ok, So it's a little early but our teams are in first place.

Auburn 2-0

Dallas Cowboys 1-0

Roger Federer- Beat the Djoker easily

Peyton is currently getting beat but he wants you all to know that it's on like Donkey Kong. They will make a comeback.

Monday Night Football starts with TWO games tomorrow night.

Joey Happy. Me want Nachos! Arrg.(Best caveman impersonation)

US Open is in full SWING

2008-09-03T23:10:00.002-05:00

I miss Andre. I am still a huge fan of tennis. The US Open is still my favorite GS event. I have never been a big fan of Andy Roddick but he is playing very well and other than Federer I would have to pick him as my favorite to win. He is not my type but for the rest of you....

I want a Divorce!

2008-09-02T18:41:00.003-05:00

No, not that kind of divorce...although if he doesn't start picking up his dirty clothes we may have to talk about it. Just kidding babe. I am going to wait for you to win the lottery and then take you for half your money.I want to divorce my family. They are so strange to me. I feel like I may have been adopted. They are quiet, they make you try and guess what they are thinking. Any subject that is even remotely difficult to talk about is strictly taboo(unless said behind another persons back). My Mom and all of her siblings lack the ambition, confidence, and drive that I have had since I was a teen and I was generally looked at as weird for being the way I was. Needless to say I left home at 19 and have never looked back. Of course I visit, call, and send gifts on the important days but I have no desire to ever move back home whereas my aunts, uncles, and cousins have never moved more than 20 miles from the house where everyone grew up.

So the reason for my wanting a divorce is simple. A call from my little sister who also has my sensibilty about life and moved out and far away just as soon as she could. Apparently my Mother is not speaking to her closest sister which has caused drama with my Grandparents, who also have been fighting with my cousin, who is using them for money and a place to stay. No one is speaking to each other and while everyone is generally healthy I know that they are all getting up there in age. It is silly for grown adults to behave this way? When I do go home to visit I am not one to mince words and everyone basically cringes when the conversation turns"controversial". Do I go back and kick some ass and set things on the right path? Do I let adults work out their problems and allow the strong to survive and the rest fall by the wayside? I think that I will take a vacation to Chicago and drink with my best friends(Yeah...Those ones. The biatches that moved to Chicago to work as Mimes on Michigan Ave) at the end of the month and then see how I feel then.

Oh Glorious Day

2008-08-30T07:51:00.002-05:00

It's Here. It's Finally Here! The first College Football Saturday of the Year. This is my favorite time of year. Every week has playoff-like atmosphere. Upsets, nailbiters, and out behind the woodshed spankings(hmmm) grace the TV. We went to have dinner at a Sportsbar/Restaurant last night and the bar crowd was yelling and cheering and I glanced up at the screen and noticed that SMU was playing the Rice Owls. SMU vs Rice!!! Hello. You would have thought it was the final seconds of Auburn-LSU at some bar in Baton Rouge. It just goes to show that a sportsfan is a sportsfan is a sportsfan. I will be glued to the TV all day beginning with College game day in just a few hours(MMMM Kirk Herbstreit). Hope you enjoy your Holiday Weekend!

Hi Larious

2008-08-27T00:04:00.004-05:00

Rodney Carrington is too funny and kinda cute. My weenus likes him.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz's

2008-08-25T06:53:00.002-05:00

Boy did I catch some Z's last night. Tom and I decided it was time for new pillows. We have been using the same $10.00 pillows for the last 3 years. I have always purchased cheap pillows so when we saw the new Memory Foam Temp controlled pillows I nearly peed myself. Macy's had all pillows at 50% off and an additional 15% if you use your Macy card so we decided to buy 2 Memory Foam pillows and 2 traditional pillows just in case we didn't like the MF. My normal routine is to lay down, watch TV, toss and turn, flip my pillow over a couple of times and finally drift off to sleep. I wake up groggy and desparate for a cup of coffee. NOT TODAY. That damn Pillow was sooo nice. I was in bed at 10 and asleep before 10:30. The hairy beast woke me up at 5 because nature was calling but we ran outside, did our business and came right back in. I was OUT within a minute of hitting that pillow. I am not sure how they do it but there is some magic in that little bundle of joy. If you have the means I HIGHLY recommend one.

Do you want tickets to Johnnie B. and the railroaders?

2008-08-22T23:04:00.002-05:00

Huh? Do you? Do you? Do you want me to get new crown molding made of titanium and chewing gum? Do we need to upgrade our ice maker to be HDTV ready? Should I buy the neighbor lady NFL Sunday Ticket? These are all questions that I am asked by the Hubby on a daily basis. He means very well and is one of the most selfless people I know but what's up with all of the strange and borderline useless things that he wants to buy. Even he will admit that he doesn't know the first thing about these bands, tools, appliances, donations that he wants to spend his "hard earned" money on. If he gets an email advertising the latest and greatest furniture touch up paint... He wants 2 cases. If you are peddling software that speeds up your internet connection... SOLD! I fear that in his old age(next year) he will fall prey to telemarketing scams and water softner salespeople. I better go. I think we just became the proud owenrs of a Scandanavian miniture goat with matching goat herder shoes. Oh well. It was on clearance.

Slow Monday

2008-08-18T21:09:00.003-05:00

I rarely say this but today was a very nice Monday. The rain kept the temps cool. I worked on a few small projects from home. Had lunch with the Hubby. Walked the Mutt. I really needed to recover from an eventful weekend and today really hit the spot.

Crazy On You - Heart - 2007

2008-08-15T22:19:00.001-05:00

That's "MISS WILSON" to you!... Biatches!

Blast from the 8th grade past

2008-08-15T22:10:00.001-05:00

My nephew is a Gansta

2008-08-14T22:14:00.002-05:00

Word up Ashton!

HUMP day

2008-08-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

Yes, It is mid week. The dog days of Summer are here. I worked with a hangover all day today. I had a telephone guy come by the office to fix some issues with our voicemail. He had to come by because the last guy didn't know our system. The last guy was a total Bubba Deluxe and I had to try and not drool directly in front of him. Well this guy made the last guy look like a preppy boy from the Ivy league. Nice Wranglers, tucked in polo shirt, nice smooth chest pelt(Ok maybe not a pelt but still nice). He smelled like he had been working hard but not smelly. He had messy hair but it was clean. I'll tell you what I did... I locked the door to the office, turned off the lights, put on a Whtney Houston Hex Hector remix,and rode that phone man till I couldn't......

H-Wood actor that makes my weiner move a little more

2008-08-10T13:52:00.004-05:00

Random internet pics that made my weiner move a little

2008-08-10T13:47:00.003-05:00

Boring Weekend update

2008-08-10T13:21:00.002-05:00

Went to the Dentist on Saturday to fix some crappy work done when I was 18 and going to my little small town dentist. Had a blast on Thursday catching up with Senorita Boozehound. We drank, we talked, we drank some more. We witnessed some drunk queen get thrown out of the bar by an even queenier bartender with freakish upper body strength. He tossed that drunk queen with ease. Saturday and Sunday have been boring as the dentist informed me that I could not have any caffeine or alcohol for 3 days. WHAT. No coffe OR Cocktails till Tuesday. You might as well cut off my arm. Or one of my balls. SO it is Gatorade and water till then. My poor hubby has to deal with me on zero caffeine. Paybacks are a biatch!!!

The 10 o' clock news is turning me racist!!

2008-08-08T00:59:00.002-05:00

Ok,
For those that know me this is old news but for the rest of you here it goes. I watch the 10 o'clock news every night like I always have. Living in the big city I expect there to be crime and drama. It seems that every night there is a murder, rape, robbery etc... After seeing the same story for years my first question now is ...Black Brown or Asian?? Who did it?? I am of Spanish/Italian decent. I am gay. I have a lot going against me from a racist perspective and could be described as a minority depending on who you ask but I never pull the race card when things don't go my way. Do my Black/Brown/Burnt Sienna brothers and sisters always feel obligated to make the news on the Murder/Robbery section???? Are we pre-disposed to make violent choices based on race, color or creed? I know this is my deepest post ever but my curiosity is getting the better of me.

Bald, gray hair or dark hair I still like me some Ray Stevenson

2008-08-04T23:04:00.005-05:00

08-30-2008

2008-08-03T10:14:00.002-05:00

College Football begins! Yes there are a few game on the 28th and 29th but the Real Deal starts Saturday the 30th. There are some great games to open the season. Auburn is ranked 11th which seems a bit high considering the QB situation but oh well. Who is your team? Do you even care about football season?

Lazy Sunday morning

2008-08-03T10:11:00.002-05:00

I enjoy mornings like this. I am having coffee, reading blogs and cnn.com. The hubby and the puppy are sleeping on the couch after enjoying too much wine last night. If it wasn't 97 degrees at 10:00 am I would go outside and sit in the yard. Oh well. I am going to finish my coffee and move on to a beverage a bit more frosty and adult oriented.

Mr. Kenny Rogers- Not the country crooner-Rotisserie chicken guy

2008-07-31T23:54:00.003-05:00

Mugshot looking pic but still hot.

Former Texas Ranger and current Detroit Tiger.( He just told that little guy(the CATCHER) for the tigers what he wants to do with him. The little guy seems surprised but interested.

No more HGTV.

2008-07-29T20:55:00.002-05:00

I have to go on a self imposed ban from HGTV. My sister moved into a new apartment. She is young, straight, and has ZERO budget for design. I have spent the last two weekends with her at Target, Pier One, and Crate and Barrel. Her window panels tie in with the comforter in the bedroom. The barstools bring out the accessories in the dining room. The bathroom is spa like and luxurious. This is all in a 800 sf apartment in the hood!!!! I can't help myself. I need to stop accessorizing. Put the floating shelf and framed mirror down and back away from the ergonomically correct leather chair! I enjoy many masculine things such as College Football, NFL, MLB, NHL, March Madness, and Nascar but when I get near home accessories, fab paint colors, or sexy new furniture I put down my football, pick up my purse and head out to do some serious damage.

I don't want to be Daddy!!

2008-07-27T21:53:00.002-05:00

I have always been attracted to older men. I was 19 and I chased the mid 30s guys. I was in my mid 20s and I would gravitate to the mid 40s guys. I am now 33 and painfully must admit that the 19 year olds look at me like I am some kind of mid 30s Daddy. Am I responsible to uphold that expectation? My hubby is 48 and in my humble opinion very attractive. I believe that it's OK to look as long as you don't touch(OK...as long as you don't touch for too long) and I always seem to check out the older guys around me. I expect them to be Daddylicious, masculine, dominate and a symbol of authority. I appreciate gray hair and a little extra around the middle. Wrinkles are a sign of experience and I am cool with that. I don't feel that I am ready to be "That Guy". Curse these twink queens that want me to pay their tuition to gay college. Curse them(even if some of them are kinda cute). I miss 1999!!!!

Mmmmmm

2008-07-26T13:32:00.006-05:00

Kristian from Sugarland(and that damn Jennifer Nettles too. I need to learn how to use photoshop and erase her out of this one.

Here is the hottie all by himself!!

I FOUND IT

2008-07-26T08:00:00.002-05:00

Inner Peace.

I must have been on my period or something. I am better now.

All we need is just a little.....

2008-07-23T21:33:00.001-05:00

PATIENCE!!!!

I am normally so positive, laid back, and pretty well easy going so why do I feel like I am about to snap at the next person that makes a stupid comment? I seriously am very grumpy and I can't quite seem to snap out of it. Arrrg!

Do you like to jump rope

2008-07-22T21:39:00.002-05:00

How about if you are doing it with Tommy Rowland?

Compliments of TottyWorld!

Cheers

2008-07-19T21:40:00.003-05:00

The T.V. show... not the "toast". There is something to be said about going somewhere and knowing that "everybody knows your name". Before my best friends(you know the ones. The dirty hookers that packed up and moved to Chicago on the hopes that they would become Oprah "regulars" and get free shit on her shiteous "Favorite Things" episodes) left Dallas we had our own little version of Cheers. We would play darts and have cocktails. We would sing karaoke and have cocktails. David would have sex in the bathrooms and we would have cocktails. Through it all we became regulars and always had our favorite table waiting for us and never waited for a drink even during the busiest times. Tonight the hubby and I had dinner at one of our Favs's and it was nice to get a hug from the Mgr. and for all of the wait staff to greet us in their own little way(Hide the Gin!! The martini queens are back). Sometimes it seems fun to go out and chase the latest and the greatest but I never take for granted the familiar comfort of the tried and true.

Oh Lawd NO!!

2008-07-16T22:09:00.002-05:00

So after a nice dinner my hubby and I stopped at our local Gay Piano bar for a cocktail. The crowd was boy.girl.boy.girl.boy. WHAT?? Our little gay bar has gone straight. The girl at the end of the bar was painfully skinny with small little Olsen Twin twin teeth. She had Supercut bangs and flea market silver metallic flip flops. She thought that she was the cats meow. After being ignored by her Straight suitor she turned to her trusty companion. Her cell phone that turned into a full size computer keyboard. While our Fab little straight girl was texting her best girlfriends a very fun song started playing. Snap- Rythym is a dancer. "You can feel it everywhere!!. After hearing this Fab retro song Ms. Redneck Texas puts her HUGE phone in her mouth and pumps her fists in the air. Left. Right. Left, Right-- Rythym is a Dancer. You go girl. She was tapping her foot so hard on her barstool that her silver metallic flip flop almost fell off her crusty foot. OH LAWD!!!

Superstar

2008-07-16T18:00:00.002-05:00

Buddy Pic

All Star Game

2008-07-15T21:37:00.003-05:00

Watchin the All Star game and thought about Pat Burrell.

Hey man.. Can you spare some gas?

2008-07-15T18:26:00.002-05:00

You know gas prices are high when panhandlers stop asking you to spare some money and just cut right to the chase and say"hey man...can you get me some gas". I do find it quite annoying that in my neighborhood I have to endure these people when I am filling up the tank. If you "WILL WORK FOR FOOD" then prove it and go get a job.

My Boss's Boss

2008-07-13T06:57:00.002-05:00

This week was somewhat of a blur. The owner/President/el jefe of my company was in town to tour the North Texas District for one of our several business channels that we operate here. While my division was not being inspected I was asked to tour the stores as a relationship building effort between divisions. El Jefe is a serious Type A personality with minor ADD as well. We began each day at 9am and wrapped up around 10pm each night. It would have been later but I decided to skip dinner and drinks. While I was exhausted by the end of my trip it was a good opportunity for some brown nosing...... I mean face time with el presidente.

I bought buddy a new toy on Wednesday evening and he told me that it was the greatest toy EVER(he gave me a big sloppy kiss and sniffed my crotch). While I caught up on emails late that night he was on the couch just chewing away on one of the 4 thick braided ropes that were sticking out of a hard rubber chew toy. When it was finally bed time I shut down the laptop and headed upstairs only to discover that it wasn't the ropes he was chewing on. The WONDER dog had been chewing the hard rubber part of the toy. Not just chewing it but swallowing pieces as well. A full bowl of food, a hard rubber bone, and smooth braided rope all available to WONDERMUTT and he would rather EAT plastic!!! Speak of the devil... Someone is awake and needs to go do his business. I am sure I will find blue plastic when I pick up his......

Who's the lucky guy?

2008-07-07T19:03:00.001-05:00

Who's the lucky guy being mounted by Roger Clemens?

Back to reality

2008-07-06T20:03:00.003-05:00

After a laid back week it is back to reality tomorrow. I celebrated birthday number 33 on Tuesday with cocktails and dinner with the hubby. Thanks babe!. I also helped my sister get ready for her move next week into her new place. We were able to see the fireworks from downtown from our back yard so we enjoyed that on Friday evening. I was best friends with my couch all day Saturday so we hung out and spent some quality time together. Sunday was the Mens Finals of Wimbledon and the match was one of the best ever. I now plan on a having a glass of red wine and watching last weeks Kathy Griffin episode that I recorded on Thursday. I hope everyone had a great week.

100% pure DIVA. Timeless and Priceless.

2008-07-01T00:28:00.001-05:00

When I was 4 my cousins used to dress me up in a white t-shirt and put a belt around it to make it look like a dress. I used to sing this song into a tennis raquet. I had no chance to be straight!!!

Is it Happy Hour yet?

2008-06-29T13:43:00.002-05:00

If you read Can't never could do Nothings blog then you have officially been tagged to talk about your "5 Things". If you are reading this blog then you have officially been tagged as well. I will be checking up on you so you better do it!!!

5 Jobs that I have had:
Construction Worker- No… I never wore the tool belt and nothing else.
Security Guard- I miss the unform.
Retail Manager- I had 60 salesmen under me… I mean reporting to me.
Banking Center Manager. I would flirt with the cute guys in the drive thru and send them lollipops.
Regional Manager for a Financial Services company(Current)

5 Movies I can watch over and over again:
Steel Magnolias- “Go ahead M’Lynn slap her” “Are you high Clairee? Priceless!
A Christmas Story- They show it for 24 hours during Christmas and I watch it 3 or 4 times.
Top Gun- I was 12 when it came out and all the hot Air Force guys were just too much.. I still watch it though.
The Legend of Billie Jean- “Hubie won’t bring it back”. “How do you know”. “Cause he’s a fucker that’s how I know”
Breakfast Club- “does Barry Manilow know that you raided his wardrobe"?

5 Places that I have lived:
Los Lunas New Mexico -
Las Vegas Nevada
Albuquerque New Mexico
Arlington Texas
Dallas Texas

5 T.V. shows that I love:
ESPN Sportscenter
Food Network- The Barefoot Contessa
Kathy Griffin- My life on the D-List
Will and Grace- I still watch reruns
The Weather Channel- Storm Stories

5 Places I have been on vacation:
Jamaica
Hawaii
Key West
Napa Valley
Chicago

5 Favorite Meals
Blakes Hamburger- It’s a New Mexico thing.
Freebirds Burrito- It’s a Texas thing.
Spaghetti
Giordanos Deep Dish cheese pizza from Chicago- Oh lawd its good.
Can cheese on Ritzs crackers.

5 Places I would rather be, right now
Camping high up in the Rocky Mountains
Playing darts with my friends at Charlies Bar in Chicago
Getting a massage.
Picking out my New Infinity G35
Hanging out on a yacht in the Mediterranean.

Shameless Buddy Pic

2008-06-27T08:47:00.002-05:00

SEXY! You work it boy!