Funny stuff heard at Target

I stopped by Target at lunch today and in the next aisle over this is what I heard:

Lady1: (in her best twang) Sara, look at these gorgeous balls!
Lady2: Oh Kathy, those are too cute.
Lady 1: I wasn't really into using balls for a while but these are so nice. Just the right size too.
Lady2: I have always had some around my house. They look nice on the mantle. How much are they?
Lady 1: I don't care. I want them!

Betty...Can you hear me?

I am checking into Betty Ford Clinic!

I realized yesterday that most days I am either having a glass of wine or a cocktail with dinner, or in the back yard with neighbors and the dogs, or I am recovering from a day of dining, drinking, and socializing. Sad really. I rarely get smashed drunk and cause a scene. I have never been taken to jail for Public Intoxication. I just enjoy a libation with friends...EVERY DAY. I am going to jump on the wagon this week and see what changes will happen. Sleep better?? Work our harder?? Become a better person??? OK, OK...One step at a time.

I know that I like older guys...But

He can sing my panties off any day.