Autumn

This is my favorite time of year. The summer heat begins to leave us (although not for another month here in Dallas). College football is in full swing. Sports Bars show college football games, and you go to your friends house for BBQ, beer, and college football. On to another topic... Auburn is 3-0(yeah, I know their schedule was weak, but WV is always dangerous so that's a quality win). USC and Ohio St., and Notre Dame have all lost already(hehehehehe), and every week has some great games. I love this time of year.

Dirty little secret

I have never been a fan of reality TV. I never caught on to the "survivorbigbrotherfindanewwife/husbandbuildahouseforthoselessfortunateyouhavebadkidshireanannyandswapspouses" craze. My friends would be all "dude, the Amazing race 13 is on" and would be all "whatevs". I did "find" American Idol during its 4th season and have seen it sporadically since but I generally turn my nose up at "those people" that enjoy the reality shows. Cut to last year (I love saying"cut to") and I am changing channels on a boring weeknight and there are two women just acting all kinds of ignorant at some party. I was slightly intrigued so I watched some more. What is this dramatic goodness I said to myself. And that is how I started watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I have never seen an episode of any other Real Housewives but something about this group just has me hooked. I saw the first 2 episodes of the new season last night and the juicy gossip and drama picked up right where it left off last year.

Staycation Over

Well, all good things must come to an end. I did cross off quite a few items from the to do list:

1. sit on couch often- check
2. Have a cocktail by 3pm - check
3. Go to casino during Senior day and ask for free breakfast- check
4. Throw my panties onstage at Brian Mcknight concert- check
5.Organize my bathroom cabinet and group things by category, size and frequency of use (due to OCD)- check

Back at work in the glorious 105 degree heat. It is serious swamp ass weather!!

Day 1 of my Staycation

I enjoyed Day 1 of my staycation. I decided to take a week off from work. Blackberry- Turned off. Out of office message- turned on. Extended vacation greeting on cellphone- activated.
It feels nice to just hang out and do NOTHING. I walked the beast, took a nap (the beast took a nap with me, and had a nice dinner at home with the Hubs(who is Sooo jealous that he isnt on staycation with me).

Happy 4th Y'all

Did you catch the Premiere of Hung on HBO last night? I was mildly impressed and will watch it again next week. It doesn't hurt that the lead role is played by this piece of meat

The on again -off again-on again(How Trent Willmon of me) lesbitarian Anne Heche is on this show as well.

6 ????

Guess what today is??
The first day of Wimbledon thats what. Roger goes for #6. Rafa is OUT (no...not out of the closet.) I love this picture of Fed and Andy Roddick.




Roger: Sorry about the ass beating I gave you. Better luck next time.

Andy: Next time will be the same thing. I suck.

Roger: Thats true. At least you look hot with your shirt off.

Has it been a month already??

Time flies when you are having fun...

My employment was in question as my company decided what to do with the Tax division. Close it and leave poor Joey homeless and destitute?? I wish. I could have used the vacation. Instead we have merged with another division to create a Mega-giganto- Super division. I am still the DM for North Texas, should be receiving a raise in July, and actually have less work to do than before. Woo-Hoo!

I Finally joined Facebook. I know, I know- It's already outdated. I am just not really into staying connected with EVERYONE on the planet. My real friends have my telephone number and we call/text/blackberry message when things happen. I am "Joseph Maldonado" on Facebook if you want to be my friend or whatever.

The hubby had a B-day yesterday. This year was low key. Next year is the one that I better start planning for right now. He turns the big 5-0.

College football will be here in 80 days. I will finally be at peace with the world(at least for 4 months).

Funny stuff heard at Target

I stopped by Target at lunch today and in the next aisle over this is what I heard:

Lady1: (in her best twang) Sara, look at these gorgeous balls!
Lady2: Oh Kathy, those are too cute.
Lady 1: I wasn't really into using balls for a while but these are so nice. Just the right size too.
Lady2: I have always had some around my house. They look nice on the mantle. How much are they?
Lady 1: I don't care. I want them!

Betty...Can you hear me?

I am checking into Betty Ford Clinic!

I realized yesterday that most days I am either having a glass of wine or a cocktail with dinner, or in the back yard with neighbors and the dogs, or I am recovering from a day of dining, drinking, and socializing. Sad really. I rarely get smashed drunk and cause a scene. I have never been taken to jail for Public Intoxication. I just enjoy a libation with friends...EVERY DAY. I am going to jump on the wagon this week and see what changes will happen. Sleep better?? Work our harder?? Become a better person??? OK, OK...One step at a time.

I know that I like older guys...But

He can sing my panties off any day.

I am going to wear my Stevie Nicks Shawl

The hubby received some Fleetwood Mac tickets from one of his vendors today. Woo Hoo. They are in a Suite with free booze. My karaoke version of The Chain will be heard LOUD and clear by our Suite-mates. I am gonna sneak backstage and tell Lindsey Buckingham that I have always had a man crush on him. (Even during his white man afro days... I was only 2 when Rumours came out but I knew what I liked even back then).

sniffles

I feel icky. Sore throat... Sinus pressure. I think I have swine flu. I had bacon on my hamburger while in Chi town. That must be it. I am going to take some Advil and hope this swine flu goes away. I hope I dont pass it to my hubby or my Buddy. I do refer to him as Pig Dog(half pig/half dog). Maybe thats where I got it.

Curse you Pig Dog!!!
Get out of our bed and sleep in your own Orthapedic, 7 in. thick, memory foam, large breed, cost half a weeks wages, dog bed.

Tax Season- 120 Days
Sleepless Nights- 120 Nights
Feeling that I can finally take a breath and relax- Priceless

I just returned from Chicago where I attended a business conference. Tragic 1980's inspired ballrooms. Poor A/V equipment. Presenters that fear public speaking. Yeah, I had a blast. I did follow that up with 3 days of hanging out in Boys Town and sleeping until Noon everyday.

In my first moment of clarity after Tax Season I have decided that I need to further my education. I am 36 Hours away from a B.S. Electrical Engineering degree but have decided to pursue other interests. Executive V.P of Floral Arrangements for Elton John Inc. is my desired position so I better get to work quickly.

April 15th

It is here. I didn't think I was going to make it but I am still alive. After today I will be able to get back to working from home a couple days a week. I will be able to take a few days off when I want. I will be able eat sleep and be merry (or is it Mary)...either way I will be a different person after today. I can't wait!

Conversation

I had quite an interesting conversation with my computer this morning. As I logged on he told me that I was "now connected". I told him that I didn't really feel connected. He didn't respond. He then told me that I am "ready for updates" to which I smiled and said "no kidding". "Aren't we all". Once again he went silent. I then tried opened up my Daily Production spreadsheet and he told me that he is "not responding" and then poof...All of my windows were closed. I have decided that I am "not responding" today either and I am going to celebrate St. Patricks day in the manner that it was truly intended to be celebrated. Drunk and puking on a sidewalk by 2pm.

Oh My

Duncan Hines

Please Beware. This man will make you very "Duncan Hines" (Soft and Moist). If not his painfully sexy face then his deep sexy voice. You have been warned.

It's On Like Donkey Kong...Bitches

Oh sweet Mary. I have been hella busy. Yeah, I went all 1998 on your ASS and said "hella". It's true though. Tax Season is Hell for this Homo. I feel like I took a brief vacation from sanity, reality, and most household chores. I am glad to be back though. On another note...
I am not really a TV watcher. I watch anything Sports related and I will also watch if a Countdown is involved. Top 10 Celebrity Murders. Top 50 One Hit Wonders. You name it I will watch it. While hanging out with the hubster this evening I peeled my eyes away from ESPN.COM long enough to see this hot piece of man meat. I instantly closed my laptop and started to pay attention to the show that was on. It's called Private Practice and apparently it's a spin off from Greys Anatomy...blah blah blah. Boring Mc Yawn. Anyway, I just had to Google this furry piece of man pie. His name is Paul Adelstein. He makes me want to quote the famous Salt N Pepa song SHOOP.
"Paul, You so crazy...I think I wanna have yo Baby".

Ft. Worth Stock Show and Rodeo

While it isn't as grand as the one down in Houston I do love me some Ft. Worth Stock Show. Who wouldn't?? Hot cowboys everywhere. Manly men buying John Deere equipment. Mmmm. I may have to miss the show this year which would not be good. Maybe I can sneak away from work tomorrow and go on the last day. I do hope to see some of this...






And a whole lot of this...

The rumours of my demise...

They are untrue. Tax Season is in full swing. Seniorita Boozehound is my witness that these are crazy days in our business. How many more 14 hour days can I work? How many more Taxtastrophies will I endure?? To be continued.

2 weeks

It's been a crazy two weeks.
Worked (11) Fourteen hour days in a row.

Found out the dog has allergies.. To go with his sensitive stomach and fear of boxes.

Had a visit from the Boss. It went well.

Hung out with Senorita Boozehound on many occassions for frosty adult beverages.

While hanging out with MS Boozehound we met a stripper who told us that he had a very small penis but he is cool with it since he is a bottom.

Went to a Dallas Stars game and my friend Karen knocked over some guys beer when she stood up to cheer a goal. He offered to take his jersey off so she could sit on it and she said no. DUMB!. He was cute so I asked if I could sit on his "jersey"

I'm still alive...I think

Many many many 12 hour days later I am still standing(cut to Elton John song). All the days run together. I miss my Summer/Fall schedule when I "worked" from home much more often.
For Thomas...