Scooby Doo was raped

My two sisters bought me a large stuffed Scooby Doo dog about eight years ago for Christmas. I love me some Scooby. In a vain attempt to defer the attention of a rabid great dane puppy away from my foot I gave him this stuffed animal as a peace offering. Initially he was bored however later this evening I witnessed a sex crime being committed by the very rabid great dane that earlier was satisfied with biting my toes. We have wood floors so while trying to mount poor scooby, Buddy was slip sliding all over the place( He looked like my loving hubby on a Saturday morning when we have had a few too many drinks the night before. There I am on the edge of the bed ready for ecstacy but he just can't seem to get traction on those damn wood floors. Take your socks off honey and lets get to business!!! )My little Buddy is growing up soo fast. He is getting snipped this weekend!!. I am way to young to be a grandparent.